youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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