Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
