imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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