He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
