I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
