a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Randomize
