The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
