What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
