Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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