So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
