out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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