Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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