Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
