How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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