I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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