I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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