i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
