I need help removing her.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
