I'm eating all of the evidence.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
