everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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