so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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