Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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