booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
