i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
