The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
