just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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