we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
