I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
