they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
