accomplished twins. life is a go
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
