actually, I'm a sock model
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
why is half of my head shaved?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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