RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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