how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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