i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
