they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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