im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
