Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
