At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
