How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
