we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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