yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
