I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
