I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
