the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
