i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
