toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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