dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
