He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
