Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
