were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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